Kelly Clarkson rocks!!
Check out her cover of
Walkin After Midnight.
Patsy Cline is still one of my favorite artists and
Video is no longer up.... if anyone knows where this can be located let me know!!!!

Monday, July 20, 2009

I hurt therefore I am

Play on words there. They are true though. I woke up this morning and my right leg felt like it was in a vice, my left upper arm was cramped, and my neck had a kink in it the size of my ego (By the way, that's big. Really big. Not Texas big but close enough for government work). Now what woke me up was the alarm clock. It sits across the room.

Yep. I said across the room. That way I have to get up to turn it off making me less likely to lay back down and fall asleep. I learned to do that years ago. I was always late for stuff like work, church, social activities, court... you know, life in general. I might mention here that if you have to appear in court for ANYTHING don't be late. Judges tend to take a very dim view of tardiness. Much more so than college instructors.

So anyways, I see the clock and I hear the clock. I just can't seem to get my roly-poly arse out of the bed. It would seem that the combination of the right leg and left arm were sufficient to mess up my ability to sit up or pretty much anything resembling horizontal or vertical progress. That took about 30 minutes. I finally got the cramp loosened up and the crick mostly worked out. ahhhhhh. Sweet relief. The leg I can work with. I manage to get to my feet only to find out I can't feel the big toe and the two piggies next to him... on both my feet. *le sigh*

Well right away I can tell it's going to be a fun day. Eventually I get the alarm turned off and get a shower. The feeling comes back in both big toes in the shower. Thank god. Well, not god actually.... it's more like thank Kenmore for making a water heater that dispenses really hot water. I think anyway. It could be increased blood flow from standing upright. Maybe it was all in my head. No, that's can't be it because we already know there isn't anything rattling around up there. Whatever.

By the time I make my 8am class I have most of the feeling back in my feet, the crick is completely gone, and the cramp is a distant memory. Now I was going to going walking this morning but I did not, as you can imagine. 30 minutes to get vertical made me forget all about the walking. But I came to a couple of realizations today.

The first is that the pain, fleeting or steady as it is from one moment to the next, reminds me I am alive. Not that I would wish to be dead. No, that would involve an entire bottle of Jose Cuervo and the next morning. In this I have lots of practice. Perhaps, in the grand scheme of things, too much practice. They say practice makes perfect and by golly I practiced. Waking up on a cold January morning curled up in the drivers seat of my mustang 2 counties away from my house made me stop practicing though. But I digress.

The other thing is that I think my body has assumed control. I had announced to my nephew that I was going to go walking this morning and he said he would go with me. It's funny that the few days previous I mad no such declaration and felt fine when I woke up. Well, fine being a relative term but well enough to get out and walk. Now previous to that I had stated I would walk and the days I had set aside for it and said I was going to walk to someone I felt like crap. My physical form is conspiring with my MS to keep me inside. Damn you!!

Ok, that's a stretch but odd none the less. So now I sit here thinking about you know what but I'll be damned if I am going to say it out loud. We'll see in the morning and I'll let you know.

And for those playing along at home I got an 87 on my history test. Not as well as I would have liked but not bad. Even if I don't take the final I will finish with a C average. I will take the final because I am only 33 points from the B that I set out to get. I think even I am lucky enough to get 33 right on the final (Never mind the fact I know the info pretty good).

My average in math is a 73. I have a test tomorrow and then the final next week. If I can pull a C I will be giddy. Giddy as what you may ask yourself.... giddy as a school girl on her first date! To be honest I will be happy to get out with a D. I have my fingers crossed.

Well, I think that is all for today. I will leave you with this one pearl of wisdom.

If at first you don't succeed... try, try again.

Ok, I know it's not a funny like I usually end with but I wanted to be positive tonite.

Later taters!
{Small edit for spelling errors. Sorry!}


Living Day to Day with Multiple Sclerosis said...

I am glad you got out and walked. I too have been sleeping through my alarm in the morning so I may have to try putting it across the room. Good Luck with your test tomorrow. I have faith that you will do good!!!

Also, Thank You for being such a good friend! Today has not been good but decided that I would read up on other people's lives and try to not think about earlier today!

GypsyFox said...

Hi Mike, thanks for commenting on my last post, I did check out that show, thanks! sounds like it could just be poor circulation? I have this myself, sometimes I wake up before my feet do. LOL

Have Myelin? said...

I love your description of trying to get out of bed. Unfortunately I do not possess such a lovely problem. I wish I could sleeeeeeeep. Never have been able to- it's been years!