Kelly Clarkson rocks!!
Check out her cover of
Walkin After Midnight.
Patsy Cline is still one of my favorite artists and
Video is no longer up.... if anyone knows where this can be located let me know!!!!

Friday, July 10, 2009

I scared myself

*** Note: I edited this post. Too many misspellings mainly. ***

I scared the poopies out of myself today... well almost. What scared me you might be wondering? I got on the scale this morning. :0

I used to weigh a lot. 426 pounds at my worst. Now a few years ago I managed to get myself down to about 250 but I evened myself out at about 270. I was more than happy about that. I was downright giddy (mental image? ya, I thought so). I had to buy all new clothes, which was nice actually. I went on a rampage throwing away all my old stuff because I told myself I was never going to let myself go like that again. I swear, I actually looked myself in the mirror and spoke the words out loud. I was happy and life was good. This was way back in 2003 btw.

Fast forward to late 2008. I was feeling poorly, the holiday season was upon us and I was eating pretty much everything. I was maintaining my weight at about 275 so I thought life was ok. I was working (12 factory shifts help keep the weight manageable) and the trip to Colorado was still another week out. I figured a few weeks away from home visiting relatives in beautiful Colorado would do me a world of good. I was already aware the plant was going to close in 2009 but not when. Time to worry about that later.

Two days before New Years Eve. My head felt like Dizzy Gillespie was playing his 15th encore inside it, the right half of my head was numb (ya, HEAD), my right arm and right leg were having a personal argument with the rest of my body and were constantly trying to take their ball and go home, and my stomach was threatening a rebellion fairly constantly. My brother asked if I was feeling ok a few times but I blew him off. I didn't want anyone to know how I was feeling. I started chewing aspirin like pez candy and drank nothing but coffee and water. Nothing really helped and it was getting worse.

January 6th my dad and I left for the drive home. I wanted to take the most direct route. He didn't. We drove from Colorado Springs to El Paso (That's Texas for you geographically challenged) and hung a hard left on to I-10. I would like to tell you Texas is "purty" but to be honest I only had one good eye at this point and it really wasn't all that clear. We pulled in the driveway on the evening of the 9th, 2300 or so miles later, and I unloaded the truck and went to bed. Did I mention my dad is confined to a wheelchair?

Dad was mad at me at about 3pm on Saturday cause I was still in bed. After an argument I decided to go to the ER. They freaked. Took me right in, plugged me up and ordered a CT scan. It eventually came back negative so the doctors and nurses could only gripe about what they could have found. They scheduled me for an MRI on Monday and I went home. Dad didn't say anything to me.

Monday morning came and I got jammed into a giant metal tube. I dozed off. I was eventually awakened and told to go out to the waiting area. Maybe 20 minutes later (Could have been 2 hours as my sense of time passage was whacked) the nurse came out and said I needed to be admitted. I refused until someone told me what they found (Really, they could have thumped me and knocked me out cold and did what they wanted). The Radiologist came out, closed the doors to the waiting area and told me. She had been the one to look at my MRI from about 4 years previously, gave a preliminary diagnosis as early MS (I must point out the specialist my insurance company sent me to said no it was not and made me his lab rat for 3 months). This time the lesions were absolutely clear and to add to it my brain was swollen from all the inflammation. I needed treatment.

Some 4 hours later I am lying in a hospital room, IV drip, drip, dripping away, my mind numb with fear, shock, pain, nausea and a host of other not too nice thoughts trudging one after the other through my head. Several nurses introduced themselves but I only took particular note of the cute redhead. She was married. Damn. They said a neurologist would be up sometime that afternoon and my regular doctor had been contacted.

Early evening. I had lunch and dinner and was watching iCarly. I felt a little better but my head was still numb and my right side in general was still being quite the rebellious upstart. I would stumble to the bathroom since I refused to use the pee bucket and the bedpan. The nurses didn't like it. Especially since they had plastered my chart, arm, bed, door and wall above my bed with the same two words: FALL HAZARD. They told me to call a nurse if I needed to go and they would assist me. I told them the only way they would assist me was if I was unconscious. A couple of them gave me a look that told me not to push them too hard or I might find myself that way.

I called my dad. He was worried but unable to do anything (wheelchair). I told him as soon as I got some more info I would call back but don't worry about trying to come down. I called a good friend. She brought me a bag with some clothes, toothbrush and other essentials in it. She said I didn't look too good. Nurse came in to draw blood, give me a shot of insulin and see how much urine I was passing. My friend left. She doesn't like needles.

My neuologist stopped by. Said the words, "Yes. You have MS and here is what we need to do first." Steroids. Have to get the brain unswollen. He was wondering how I was still mobile, much less the 2300 mile drive. I told him, "Because I had to." He didn't like that answer. Three days of massive steroids with a spinal tap on Tuesday. After that we will see. Got first dose that night. Woke up Tuesday morning feeling strange. Oh wait, I was feeling better.

Spinal tap was uneventful. Fluid was clear but eventually tested out that I have MS. Nurses still mad about my wandering aorund the room. Food sucked, but I was actually able to start tasting it. Still sleepy as hell though. Every 4 hours they would wake me up. Check my vitals, give me a shot and then leave me be. Got my second dose of roids that nioght. Woke up Wednesday feeling a lot better but my right side was still protesting their attachment. Not near as vocal though.

Wednesday my doctor came by. Said I would have to be on insulin from now on. Steroids were driving my sugars way up. I hate needles. Neurologist came by. Said I could go home Thursday morning as long as everything checked out. Yay. Food still sucked. I did shave and take a shower that afternoon. Nurses really mad about that. Cest la vie.

Thursday PT (Physical Therapy) people came by. The girl knows my dad from his many trips there (Left leg amputated, two back surgeries). They were the final release I needed. Wanted to know if I needed a walker, Told them no and followed them through their paces. I had to concentrate really hard but I did it. Even beat them back to the room. As long as I didn't have to suddenly change direction I was ok. Was noticing tremors though. They said that was normal. They signed off and I got another dose of roids. Managed to get cut loose at about 4pm. Made it to the truck and immediately went to my favorite Chinse Buffet (Nikki works there. She's cute and I like her. I think she likes me to but I dunno for sure. Maybe yes). Ate and went home.

Told dad everything. He looked worried but didn't say anything. Went to bed. Next morning went and filled my prednisone prescription (1.5 months of that stuff). Had note keeping me out of work for a while. Dropped that off. Was kind of weird stumbling thru the plant. Almost fell a few times. All was well though.

A few months later and I was well enough to return to work but my uniform didn't fit the same. It was a little tight. I had been eating pretty good and I know the steroids can cause some weight gain. Laid off at the end of March. Two weeks later I start on my Copaxone. Doctor says that might cause some minor weight gain. I also stopped smoking. Started cramming food in like, well like I don't know what. The pills I still take for my diabetes have a side effect; weight gain.

Present day. Today. Got on the scale this morning. Lets just say I had passed the 300 pound mark. yikes. Have to do something and I am going to. At least three days a week, starting tomorrow I am going to walk for an hour in the morning. Bought some Tai Chi DVD's (I used to do it years ago, part of how I lost all the weight before). Going to do that at least 2 days a week, prolly 3. Do the Tai Chi on the days I am not walking. Use Sunday as a rest day. Start eating better. Picked up some weight loss stuff, multi-vitamins.

Have to lose this weight. Have to get myself a lot healthier. Going to shoot for the 270 now. Once there will see what I need to do. Was gonna try yoga (There is a local class I can join) but I doon't want to subject other people to me. Not until I can get a handle on things. I very well may use this blog to track my progress. We will see.

Must open DVD's. Tomorrow morning will be Tai Chi (Already made up my mind MWF will be walking). yay!


1 comment:

Lisa Emrich said...

Thank you for such an honest post. I am currently at my highest weight, especially with this recent round of steroids. Actually, I've avoided weighing in the past week because I'm not ready to know the exact details.

I do hope that you will use your blog to document your progress. I will find it inspiration as I imagine others will also. I'll also cheer you along.

Go Mike!!