Kelly Clarkson rocks!!
Check out her cover of
Walkin After Midnight.
Patsy Cline is still one of my favorite artists and
Video is no longer up.... if anyone knows where this can be located let me know!!!!


Monday, February 1, 2010

That's not my name..... (or stupid is measurable)

Just sitting here at the coffee shop, listening to The Ting Tings (go ahead... guess which tune!), waiting for word from the hospital on dad. I dropped him off this morning at 5:45 for a procedure. He has an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm. According to his cardiologist its not a big deal.

Oooooooooookay.

Personally, anything with the word aneurysm in it can't be all kitties and sunshine.


The doctor says its normal for someone his age and it is an easy thing to fix.

Oooooooooookay.

Lets see, what else is going on. Taxes. Just waiting for the W2's from the state for my unemployment and I can get filing. I fear I will owe this year and that worries me. I am just praying to break even at this point. We shall see.

School. It is hard this semester. Tons of homework every night. I finally got to the break even point. I am hoping to get a little ahead this week. It is tough to be sure. My MS is being a stubborn mule and making my brain flutter and twitch. Not good given the level of the material for both of my computer classes (Cisco IV and Maintaining/Installing Windows Server Active Directory).

Pussycat Dolls, 'When I grow Up' just queued up. Hmmmm, I guess I will let it play out.

I think I will do ok in both classes but I am not looking for ok. I want the A. I need the A. I... must... get... the... A!

To borrow a line from Monty Python,

And now for something completely different...

Do you ever wonder what people are thinking about. Lets say, for example, you see a girl sitting in the lounge, at school, and just seems to be staring off into the dark corners of her mind. You could assume that she might be thinking about her grades or possibly her financial aid, but that is just to easy. I like to take a less congenial approach.

I like to think she is worried about the fact missed her period, or that she woke up that morning laying next to someone she doesn't even recognize. Maybe, just maybe, that boyfriend she just crushed still has naughty photos of her from that last spring break trip.

Yea, I know, why would I wonder about such happy thoughts?

(Warning: Rant incoming - and this is friggin' long!)
{Consider yourself duly warned!}

I have been watching way too much reality television lately. Jersey Shore on MTV (Moron TeleVision if you don't recall) has become my latest excuse for railing against humanity. I only heard about this show because some Italian-American group (some of you may recall how I feel about hyphen attaching lineage and citizenship, if not then ask.... I could rant all day long about it) had a public hissy fit about it. They claimed that it put Italian-Americans in a bad light because they do not act that way.

Seriously? No, I mean it... SERIOUSLY?

Well if the particular group of people, from the show, do not act that way then MTV managed to subvert an entire community into acting for the show. Honestly dude, STFU. They are moronic bimbos, bastards, and boneheads desperately grasping for their 15 minutes of fame. Already the nude photos are cropping up, they had a look alike contest (do I really need to comment on the fact there are retards [no disrespect intended for the developmentally challenged] who choose to act like that??), and I recall reading that a few of them are looking for careers in Hollywood. Yea, they should fit in nicely with that bunch of attention whores.

My point, if you didn't pick up on it already, is that we, as a civilization, peaked about 100 years ago and are already on that short slide to the apocalypse. We no longer care about where we are heading. In fact, we do everything in our power to get behind the cart of humanity and push it that much closer to edge. Sadly, I am right there pushing it along.

The fecal matter thrust down our throats, called modern television programming (aka Reality TV), is only the result of what the general public thirsts for. The rise, to a station of semi-credibility, of tabloid papers, websites like TMZ, and people like Perez "Fucktard of the Decade" Hilton only shows how simple minded the public at large has become (Of course, this point is only further made by the number of people who bought the load of rhino rocks the President dumped on them allowing him to become the President - That is a rant for another time since that one is deserving of its own special entry).

I think I have finally given in to the 'bright shiny' and as such have joined the masses as they, much like cattle to the slaughter, mindlessly follow along to their eventual doom. Oh, don't get me wrong, I know the bright light at the end of the tunnel is only the oncoming train of ruination but my foot is trapped under the rail so all I can do is wait for the inevitable. Oh, it would be easy to blame other people but the truth is far more simple and undiluted, I am at fault. For myself that is.

As for the rest of the brainwashed masses, well I have one recommendation: Forced sterilization. These people should not be allowed to procreate. The gene pool is shallow enough already without further diluting it with the dregs of society. If dinosaurs walked the earth today, or more aptly a few hundred years ago, these people would have never existed, for long at any rate. Through stupid laws, poorly considered regulations, and the advent of the lawsuit we are no longer a self thinning herd of carnivores. We allow the weak, sick, and just plain stupid to survive into adulthood thereby passing their imbecilic genes on to a new generation. It does not take long for the influx of those SG's (Stupid Genes) to mate up creating a rapidly deteriorating situation. I found the following information on a site that I will not name (Since I wasn't supposed to be there in the first place but I did receive permission to duplicate the basics). (My algebra sucks so bear with me):

SG = Stupid Gene
NG = Normal Gene

SG1+NG1=SG/2 (Meaning the recipient would be half as dumb as donor SG1)
SG1+SG1= SG2 (Meaning the recipient would be twice as stupid as either SG donor)

Now you would think that if one donor SG2 mated with another donor SG2 you would get a donor SG4 but that is not the case. The problem is that Stupid Genes grow exponentially. Sadly the rate of growth is dependent on the level of the donors. Each generation is actually a multiple of the primary donors. It works out like this:

((SGn^(x)+SGn^(x))^((y+z)x.25)x.35
n = the value of the SG's
x = the value of the n multiplied by 1.17
z = 1/4 of the sum of (SGn+SGn)
For statistical accuracy, go out to 4 decimal points rounding using standard rules

So assuming both are SG2 we get this:

((SG2^(2.34)+SG2^(2.34))^((2+2)x.25))x.35
((2^2.34)+(2^2.34)^1)x.35
((5.063+5.063)^1)x.35
10.126x.35
3.5441

If one is an SG2 and one is SG3.5441 we get:

((SG2^(2.34)+SG3.5441^(4.1466))^((2+3.5441)x.25))x.35
((2^3.34)+(3.5441^4.1466)^1.386)x.35
((5.063+189.9247)^1.386)x.35
1492.6226x.35
522.4179

So as you can see, the level of stupidity gets out of hand rather quickly. Now there is some debate as to the correct measure of a level 2 versus say, a level 522.4179. It is generally accepted that a level 2 just does minor things like forgetting your wallet or where you put your keys on occasion (Less than a once per month average). As for a level above, say, 100mil, well many believe that rises to the level of women who were on the Flavor of Love or Real Housewives of Orange County. Recently, however, there have been strides made towards quantifying those numbers into a more standard nomenclature (I do not have access to that information but I am looking).

So as you can plainly see, Forest Gump's mom hit the nail on the head.... Stupid is as stupid does and I have the math to prove it. Now if you want to know how to accurately measure your SG value I can't help you. I do not have the tools, or training but hey.... if you can't remember if you ate dinner last night, it's a safe bet that you are in the upper tier.

Ok, enough of this complete nonsense. If I spent as much time on my homework as I spent on the above formulas I would be ready for my finals already (Still a month off, so don't worry).

I have to go. The hospital called and dad is in his room.

Later taters!!

Mike

Edits:
- Fixed formula errors (SG^(x) is not the same as SGn^(x)) - Without the base value of SG you would not know how to calculate x or y
- The final total for SG2+SG2 was right, I actually mistyped the 2.34 (2x1.17) as 3.34 - This was only an entry error and not a calculation error
- Some grammar issues and one spelling error

No comments: