Kelly Clarkson rocks!!
Check out her cover of
Walkin After Midnight.
Patsy Cline is still one of my favorite artists and
Video is no longer up.... if anyone knows where this can be located let me know!!!!


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

BOO!

It's not as scary in print as when someone sneaks up behind you and shouts it in your ear.


So Halloween is upon us. I have to be honest and tell you this is my favorite holiday of the year. Does that make me strange? Nope. I was strange long before I placed Halloween at the top of my list. Trust me on this.


What do I love so much about this spooky holiday? Oh, I don't know. Could it be all the goodies? Mmmmmm, could be. Could it be the costumes? Mmmmmm, could be. Could it also be the chance to dress up in outrageous costumes and to scare the living crap out of people without being committed to a mental hospital? Oh, most definitely!

In years past (i.e. when I lived in a major metropolitan area that had a costume shop that sold special effects make-up and supplies) I used to love to dress up and hand out candy. Ghouls, zombies, general monsterly things. It was all in good fun. Most every place I worked had some type of costume contest so that gave me the chance to dress up for the entire day. Ahhh, the memories.

The best one I ever did was a motorcycle crash victim. I had road rash down one side of my face, a huge bloody gash across my forehead, a broken node, black eye, ground up cheek on the other side.... it was quite gross. I had even gone out to the street and picked up some gravel and embedded that in my 'wounds'. I used a fake blood substitute that remained gooey and red. That way the wounds always looked fresh. I was pretty impressed with my work. It took me about 4 hours to get it just right. Happy with my work I jumped in the car and headed off to work.

You know, I really never actually though about it until I pulled up to the red light. I caught some movement out of my peripheral vision to my left. I glanced over and saw an elderly lady staring, mouth wide open, and flailing at the gentleman who was driving. He looked over and his eyes popped. I politely, and calmly, waved. When the light changed he took off like Mario Andretti at the start of the Indianapolis 500. I could not help but laugh.

Once I got to work it only got funnier. One of the doctors (I worked at a clinical trials research lab at the time) had a minor freak out when he saw me. He thought it was real and upon closer inspection gave me high praise for the job I did. Too good of a job as it turned out. First, they would not let me eat in the cafeteria that day. Too many people complained. Secondly, they would not consider me for the costume contest. They said my costume was too gross. Oh well, I didn't do the costume for the prize (As I recall, it was like a $25 gift card to the company store...). I did it because I could.

That night was Halloween. I redid my make-up as a ghoul. I had a cape, with a hood, and a large staff. I opened the garage door and hung some blankets and sheets across it about half way back. I then put on a CD of spooky Halloween sounds and set the wife up in the back with the candy. I then set a chair at the entrance to the garage and planted myself there. The kids had to pass right by me to get to the candy. I took a pose that made me appear to be some kind of mannequin and waited. It did not take long. I would wait for the kids to go by me, and many stopped and looked at me first, and then while they were collecting their spoils I would quietly get up and stand between them and the exit out of the garage.

Hilarity, of the highest order, quickly ensued. Most of the kids would turn around to leave and find me standing there and totally freak out. The older kids were the funniest through. Several dropped their bags and made a break for it. One even dropped to the floor and curled up in the fetal position screaming. Fun times. I did, as a matter of point, not move when small children came up. I didn't think making them pee in their costumes would be very nice.

Except for one kid. He was probably 6 or 7 and before he got his candy he stopped to look at me. He started poking me, I suppose to see if I was real, really hard. I groaned and simply reached out for him. He dropped his bag, started screaming at the top of his lungs and bolted for the street. Before his mom could even stop him he made a hard left, at the bottom of the driveway, on to the sidewalk and proceeded to run as fast as he could down the street. I really felt bad about that. While I can not say for sure, I think I can safely assume that his costume was ruined.

Fun, fun times.

Halloween is fun. It also falls on a Sunday this year. The local religion mongers want the trick-or-treating done on Saturday night. Meh. That is an argument I really don't want to get into. Suffice it to say it's a stupid idea.

Halloween. My favorite time of the year. Candy, costumes, and general spookiness. Fun times I tell you.... fun times.

Toodles all!!

Mike

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