Kelly Clarkson rocks!!
Check out her cover of
Walkin After Midnight.
Patsy Cline is still one of my favorite artists and
Video is no longer up.... if anyone knows where this can be located let me know!!!!


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Snack foods and me (I, me, I, me..... whatever).....

Well hello out there. Once again I am way behind on a new post and no one thought to remind me. Sorry about that but September got crazy right after my last post. I will cover the two incidents, ever so briefly, and then move on to the main reason for posting today.

First: Fall semester started. It has been wacky funness (and yes, I know that's not a real word..... sue me already!). Made it through mid terms with nary a scratch.

Second: Dad is back in the hospital, and has been since September 20th. He has beeen moved in and out of CCU twice. He is doing ok, not real well and most certainly not great. Stable. That is a good way to put it.

Ok, now that I have that out of the way, lets get on to Snack foods.

It is no secret that I harbor a secret infatuation with the most noble of food items. The lusciously delicious, the salty, crispy goodness that is.....



BACON!

Who doesn't like bacon?

I mean come on, bacon makes everything better. Burgers, sandwiches, seafood, steak, tacos, salads, ice cream....

I know, I know. You are asking yourself, "ice cream?!" but I'm telling you it's good. How can it not? On with the listing.

....bbq, pork chops, and you get the idea. Bacon makes everything better.

What's that? Does bacon make veggie burgers better? Well lets apply the rules of logic and see how it works out.

First, and perhaps, most importantly, veggie burgers are normally eaten by people who are afraid to act carnivorous. As such they would not consider adding bacon to that particular food product. With that being said I think I can say, with utmost confidence, that any food product designed for the herbivore set can only be improved, and quite vastly I might add, by the inclusion of fried strips of pig flesh. Lots of strips. In fact, so many should be applied as to utterly eliminate any taste other than that of the bacon itself.

Secondly, and nearly as important as the first reason, why the hell are you buying veggie burgers AND bacon. For the love of all that is holy and right in this world, if you are buying bacon then you should also have many packages of ground up bovine tissue waiting to be liberally seasoned (salt, pepper, garlic powder, Lowery's Seasoning Salt, worcestershire, and some finely grated onion), formed into medium sized patties (about 1/3 of a pound is good), grilled over an open flame until medium well, topped with cheese, lettuce, tomato, and the bacon (fried to a delicate crispiness and drained of all fat).

Anymore silly questions? I thought not. Moving on.

Bacon goooooooooood.

...which brings me to something I found at the store today. I am not sure how long this product has been around but I just found it today so it's new to me. It is a dedicated snack item chock full of a salty deliciousness all its own. Planters Peanuts. And everyone loves peanuts. Well, perhaps not those with an allergy but I am sure if they could survive the eating of peanuts they would love them to. Just my opinion.

"WTH!? Peanuts? have you lost what's left of your minuscule, and so obviously warped, mind?", you must be saying.

Relax. Take a deep breath. Go get a drink of water. All better now? Do you really think, for a single instant, that I went in to that whole discussion of bacon goodness for no reason? Silly you.

Not just any peanuts. Planters Smoky Bacon Peanuts. Allow me a moment of reflection.

.
..
...
I remember it like it was yesterday. I was walking down the snack isle looking for something to snack on tonight. I bent over to snag a bag of Nature Valley Granola Roasted Almond Nut Clusters when I noticed the familiar mascot, Mr. Peanut, staring at me from the next hanger over. It was as if he was calling out to me.

Michael. You have not tasted heavenly scrumptiousness (I know, not a real word either) like my new nuts (Insert your own awkward joke here. Too many for me to pick from).

...
..
.

So I bought them. I mean really? I was going to ignore two of my favorite things? Peanuts AND (by the gods) Bacon!?!? Fat chance of that. The odds of me not buying that package are about the same as Miley Cyrus not turning out like Brittney Spears. Somewhere between very slim and nonexistent.

What can I say. they were GREAT! Fantastic! Out-friggin-standing! Peanuts that taste like bacon. Shoot me now. Life could not possibly get any better at this point.

Well, there was the point at lunch today that the sushi chef told me I need a woman. It was the end of a conversation about a young lady who had come and had lunch with me one day a week or so ago. I knew her when we were both kids (Her parents and my parents were friends) but we had lost touch before our teenage years got rolling. Turns out, she is in my History class this semester. So anyway, Brad, the sushi chef asked if I was going to date her. I informed him she is going on 5 years with someone and I do not, knowingly (funny story on that point, ask me about it sometime), mess around with someone's significant other. That led to a conversation with one of the waitresses, who is not only very good at her job but quite the comedienne as well, which led to something else and so on. Don't take it the wrong way, out of context it sounds mean but it was not intended that way. Brad, and all the people at the restaurant are great people. We spend a lot of time laughing and joking around.

So, bacon flavored peanuts. It's like manna from the heavens. Just don't eat them without some type of drink handy. Water will not cut it. Soda, beer, or perhaps even whiskey. There is more salt, in each package, than 5 large tubs of popcorn at the theater.

Well, this is it for the time being. There is a facebook catfight going on between a couple of friends so I really wanna get back to that. Later everyone and remember what Calvin always says:

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Later taters!!

Mike

PS: I refrain from accepting responsibility for any speeling, grammactical, or punktuachun, errors. If my spell check doesn't flag it then it's not wrong. (Note to self: It may be most beneficial to turn the spell checker back on at some point).

4 comments:

Tara said...

ah hahaha! You are too funny!

Have Myelin? said...

I usually nag you to post something but figured you might be tired of it. LOL.

Woohoo, you did good.

I admit to being a bacon lover. We go thru a pound a week if not more.

Bacon makes everything taste better. I can eat mine sandwiched in vanilla wafers. *BLISS*

Mike said...

It's not nagging... simple reminders. In a perfect world chicken would taste like bacon.

Greg Gaines said...

so umm.. I need to find these bacon-nuts! PB & J with bacon is awesome too! Ask my wife! I'm also partial the the bacon chocolate bars too... super expensive, but delicious! Anywho, hope you are doing well, and if you get 5 mintues of free time (yeah I know, we usually talk way longer) give us a call! We'd love to hear from you! Ciao Mein!