Kelly Clarkson rocks!!
Check out her cover of
Walkin After Midnight.
Patsy Cline is still one of my favorite artists and
Video is no longer up.... if anyone knows where this can be located let me know!!!!


Monday, November 21, 2011

Just a quick word....

First, I would like to thank everyone for their well wishes and prayers in what has turned out to be a fairly difficult time.  More than I thought it was going to be at any rate.

I would ask that any additional thoughts and prayers be sent to Pat's wife and child (Kim and Olivia respectfully).  They are in need to the support more than I do.

On that note this has been a rough couple of months.  September 27th was the 5 year anniversary of my mom's passing.  November 2nd was when Patrick passed..  November 12th was the 1 year anniversary of my dad's passing.  That's a lot of shit to have to deal with I can assure you.

How have I been dealing with it?  A lot of crying while curled up on the floor, or the couch, or the bed... you get the idea there.  Also, a lot of reflection as well.  Some of it to when I was a kid (Go back 3 or 4 posts), some as an adult, and a lot in between.  There are good memories, bad memories, and a lot of fun to think about. 

It helps to remember my family members when we were having fun because that, to me, is the purest interpretation of them, or anyone for all that matter.  There was no worry or pain, no hatred or anger, no malice or ugliness.  It was pure raw emotion of the best kind.

I remember the bottle rocket wars; Patrick and I against David and Randy (Pat made the bazooka and I dropped my shot right into their full box of boomers!).... 

Dad joining the neighborhood kids in a game of kickball (That didn't end so well for him but that is another story)... 

Mom indulging me in my drive to be the worlds greatest magician (No matter that it took me about half a deck to pick "her" card).

The poker games, the holiday dinners, the bonfires, the shopping trips..... there is a lot that I remember about them.  Mostly, they just enjoyed life.  It wasn't enough that they enjoyed it though, they each enjoyed it their own way and made pretty damn sure they tried to drag the rest of us along for their ride.  A lot of the time it was great and I never wanted it to end.

Maybe I was a little too selfish in wanting those fleeting moments of happiness to never end and perhaps that they did is the reason they have stuck with me so strongly over the years.  Perspective.  Moving rapidly towards my late 40's gives me a perspective on things that I did not have in my youth (I can hear my dad now; 'Told ya so boy, now get me a beer').  I am now allowed to see that I did not miss much as a child.  Sure, I didn't have the things other kids had, nor did I have the same experiences as them.

I am glad for that now.  My one regret, if you can call it that, is that I didn't have the facilities to get it back when it was happening.  I am happy that I get it now.

Some days are worse than others but I seem to find a way to get through to the next.one.  The next one, hahaha, sometimes I wonder.....

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Goodbye...

My younger brother passed away last night. He fought long and hard against his cancer. My thoughts are with his wife, Kim, and his daughter, Olivia, who must now move forward with their lives without him.

His presence will always be felt and his memory cherished.

You will be missed by all who knew you.

Patrick Frankovich
11/1967 - 11/2011
Rest in peace dear brother.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The them you love them before it's too late....

For those of you that have been reading long since somewhere near the beginning you may remember me talking about my mom's death at the claws of cancer (You can read the post here) and again last November with the death of my father (That's here).

My youngest brother was diagnosed in February 2008 with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.  There is no known cure and it is always fatal.  Well, until about three to four weeks ago he had been doing pretty good.  Sadly, with a few back to back hospital stays things took a turn for the worse and he is now a resident of the local Hospice Facility.  The staff are taking extraordinary care of him but there is nothing they can really do short of keeping him comfortable and as pain free as possible.

I find it particularly difficult to see him the way he is now but I try to recall the way he used to be.  Full of life, humor, and high spirits.  I can not help but compare him, as he is now, to my mother and father in their final weeks and days.  There are too many similarities that dredge up painful memories. 

I know I told my parents that I loved them before they went..... I just didn't tell them enough.  The same goes for my brother.  It is not enough the utter the words at someones death bed, you have to say it every day.  No one knows what the next hours may hold for us, much less that traffic on the interstate or that van backing out of the driveway, so we have to be sure that we are telling those around us how much we love them.  Every day we should be doing this.  Parents, siblings, children, cousins, aunts and uncles; we should be saying it to those we care about the most.

At the end of the day there is no guarantee that our loved ones will be there to answer that phone, reply to that email, or give you a hug or a handshake when you walk in the door.  Just no guarantee at all.

May God take away his pain, ease his suffering, fill his wife and daughter with caring and warmth, and then lead him home to our parents.  I love you bro and I'm sure gonna miss you.